I have made a conscious choice to forgo having children for a while in order to further my education. Every year that we postpone a baby Bonner, it gets easier and easier to wait. Now I think I will wait until I have my doctorate until I even consider having a baby. It's like in my head I'm thinking, "Do it now (get my degrees)... or never do it." I have known very few people who went back to school while they had small children. All of them advise to do it BEFORE kids. Most people say they will go back... but never do. I understand why they don't, but I don't want to be that person.
Honestly, I will be 28 in a few more months... and that used to scare me. Age is just a number. I know... how cliche of me! But I really feel that way now.
People say, "You don't want to be a grandma/mother." Other people say, "Don't waste your 20's having children." Apparently, no one really knows what they are talking about, and each experience is unique to the individual.
The problem is that people act like there is something wrong with me or that I'm some sort of FEM-NAZI because I don't have a kid. I enjoy other people's children. I'm looking forward to being an aunt, but it's not for us now.
The worst are these "quiverfull" freaks who think that having a million kids somehow makes them more godly. *gag* Don't get me wrong... I LOVE THE DUGGARS!! (Seriously, I do.) If I was in their position... why not 10 or 12? But I also think they have a specific calling on their lives. God has used their "situation" to promote them and give them chances to share their faith with millions of people. Mama Duggar definitely has the gift of child-rearing (if there is such a thing).
I guess I'm just putting this out there because sometimes (especially in church circles) I feel like I'm looked down on because I have decided to focus on school and not on having a family right now. I definitely felt this way at our old church where the pastor was constantly calling people to have children and telling them that motherhood was the "highest calling" (sometimes jokingly... but we know every joke has a sprinkle of truth). We left feeling ashamed and guilty over something that wasn't shameful or sinful (Post coming about Spiritual Abuse).
The real fact of the matter is that women need to stop bashing other women. Period. This is ESPECIALLY true for Christian women. There is no mandate to motherhood in the Bible. God told Adam and Eve to replenish the Earth.... We don't have that problem anymore! Hello, India and China. Stop making other women feel guilty for their choices. We as the family of Christ are supposed to love and support one another, not judge and condemn.
That works both ways. I don't blame women or think they are less than women for being stay at home mothers or deciding to have multiple children (unless you are on welfare already and have another child... but that's another post). I look forward to motherhood someday. I can't wait to see a little Bonner baby smile at me from a crib but good things come to those who wait. And I'm enjoying the wait.
The real fact of the matter is that women need to stop bashing other women. Period. This is ESPECIALLY true for Christian women. There is no mandate to motherhood in the Bible. God told Adam and Eve to replenish the Earth.... We don't have that problem anymore! Hello, India and China. Stop making other women feel guilty for their choices. We as the family of Christ are supposed to love and support one another, not judge and condemn.
That works both ways. I don't blame women or think they are less than women for being stay at home mothers or deciding to have multiple children (unless you are on welfare already and have another child... but that's another post). I look forward to motherhood someday. I can't wait to see a little Bonner baby smile at me from a crib but good things come to those who wait. And I'm enjoying the wait.
