In homage to my husband and his love of facial hair (particularly his own), I am dedicating this post entirely to Sweet Beards. Just remember all beards are NOT created equal, but diversity makes the world a better place... So, here are beards of all shapes, sizes, colors, length, thickness, textures, religions, and cultural backgrounds.
Preacher Beards
aka The Holy Beard
D.L. Moody
Looks like somebody lived through the Civil War... No, really.. He did.
Charles (C.H.) Spurgeon
This guys has been called the "Prince of Preachers." I dub him the BARON OF BEARDS!
Scripture-sanctioned beardage?? Interesting.
Charles Finney
No, kids... that is not Abe Lincoln's crazy-eyed cousin... It's the "Father of Modern Revivalism," or as I like to call him "Father of Facial Hair"
John the Baptist
If you look closely, you can see bits of locust and wild honey in there.
Pope Paul III
The thought is amusing... which leads me to my next point...
Presidential Beards
No one would deny we need reform in Washington... I say, BEARD that place up!
I mean... would we really still be talking about Abe Lincoln if he hadn't had that sweet beard? (Yes...the answer is yes.)
Abe Lincoln
He was the ORIGINAL bearded president. While Martin Van Buren had some sweet chops, Abe brought the real deal in 1861. (See CHIN STRAP below)
(After Abe, Andrew "Baby-faced" Johnson was a hairless wonder... probably why he had an impeachment trial.)
Ulysses S. Grant
Sporting a beard I like to call "The General," this Union leader bearded the White House between 1869-1877. (Personally, I think Lee had a sweeter beard... but whatever.)
SIDE NOTE: BATTLE OF THE BEARDS
(The Civil War-era could also be described as the Battle of the Beards... This was a horrific time in American History... but represented the height of bearded sweetness.)
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| ROBERT E. LEE- Sporting the "Southern Gentleman" |
Rutherford B. Hayes
That thing has potential to reach WIZARD status. Well done, sir.
James Garfield
Heard of a cleft chin? This is a cleft beard... of Split Beard if you will. Nice.
Chester A. Arthur
This man is a LEGEND in the bearding world. You can guess what this one is called... The Chester A. Arthur! It takes a real man to pull of this bare-chin version of the Wolverine.
Benjamin Harrison
*Tear* Sadly, Harrison constitutes the last beard to sit in the Oval Office. American hasn't been the same since.
Crazy People Beards
Because "Crazy Beard Guy" means nothing without the "beard."
Fidel Castro
I don't agree with your politics (or the fact that you are a straight-up psycho communist).... but I SALUTE your beard.
Ayatollah Khomeini
He hates the fact that an unveiled American chick wrote this blog. (Hence the scowl)
Karl Marx
His beard wants to take your beard and give it to someone who doesn't have a beard.
BRP= Beard Redistribution Program
Joaquin Phoenix
Sometimes people grow beards for a role.... and sometimes they grow them for a role AND because they're nuts.
Hippie Guy
Who doesn't love a beard that smells like Pot, Body Odor, and the Thrift Store? Also, I'm 100% sure this guy has BEARDdruff.
Hey, I know... let's play a game of
Musical Beards
Kenny Rogers: "The Silver Fox" Edition
There is nothing sexier than a silver beard, open shirt front, and a gold chain on a man riding a horse. Period.
Randy Owen
Beard + Unibrow + Male Tank Top + Music from Country Supergroup Alabama = Yes, Please.
Brian "Head" Welch (formerly of Korn)
aka The Skank Beard
He left Korn when he converted to Christianity. He now uses that super creepy beard to scare people straight.
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| "Convert or face the wrath of the Double-Braided Beard!" |
Rainbow Beards
"Red and Yellow, Black and White"
The Irishman(Red)
Ginger-tastic! Also called "The Leprechaun" or the "McChinnigan"
The Viking or The THOR (Yellow)
He's definitely hiding a hammer in there.
The Pirate (Blackbeard)
Arrrghhh! Me beard be worth more than me booty!
The Flesh-Colored Beard (White)
This translucent beard makes MY FLESH crawl. Not to mention the Creeper sportin' it!
Literary Beards
for 500, Alex.
Ernest Hemingway
He is the old man in The Old Man and the Sea.
Miscellaneous Beards
Here's the rest. A mishmash of notable facial hair:
The Middle Eastern
Is it just me or does his beard scream "GITMO" to you?
The Paul Bunyan
It takes a manly man to pull this one of... but when it's fully grown, you have the uncontrollable urge to wear plaid.
The Santa
Arguably the most famous beard of the bunch... because it's magic.
The Brahmin
Beard of choice for Hindu Holy Men everywhere. Similar to the Santa, but
completely different!
The Capitol
This beard is pure evil... with a touch of whimsy. It says, "I want to be liked... but by all the wrong people."
The Chin Strap
Equally as creepy as the Flesh Beard, the Chin Strap is reserved for guys who are either a)Aspiring White Rappers, b) Latinos, or c) Date Rapists. Nothing says, "I street race my Subaru" like a Chin Strap.
The Peter Griffin
It hides your anatomically-correct chin AND houses a trio of tiny birds!
The Wolverine
To achieve this look just grow your massive Chops together. (And genetically alter yourself to look like Hugh Jackman.... oh, and survive being pumped full of Adamantium) Good luck!
UPDATED ADDITIONS:
The Duck and Buck
Also known as the "Outdoorsman," this beard requires minimal grooming which allows more time for beloved redneck activities.
The Sailor
Not to be confused with the Pirate, this beard accompanies a pipe, a rusty anchor, and eyes that long for the sea. Usually sported by sad old men, it's been called the "Hemingway," "Sea Captain," and the "Old Salt"
And last but certainly not least...
It has taken on many forms through the years, even been shaved... but it always grows back bigger and better. Let's take a trip down memory lane and honor THE SEXIEST BEARD OF ALL TIME:
THE BONNER
Shadowy
D.A.R.E. to dream of a beard this sweet. He gets a 5 o'clock shadow in 5 minutes.
Scruffy
Also known as Sexy Casual... His tie is loose, and his beard grows wild.
(I was going to say and so is his date... but LOL)
GROOMed
This look says, "I know my beard is sweet... You don't have to say it."
Mexican?
This bushy beard is muy caliente!
GLORIOUS
This is the Beard to end all beards...
This is...
THE BARRY BONNER BEARD
